It just feels right to use a dangerous-sounding lower voice when you say past Kentucky Derby winner names like War Admiral and Thunder Gulch.
(Try it with us: “War Admiral.” “Thunder Gulch.”)
(See what we mean?)
So, what can you possibly do with racing names like Big Booty Judy and Princess BubbleButt of Nappington?
Research isn’t conclusive, but we think you have to squeal, chuckle or throw in a “wubba-wubba-wubba — so adorable.”
Aristocratic thoroughbreds would pay no mind, but that reaction might get a few wiggles from animals built lower to the ground.
A lot lower.
No, lower than that.
All of this is our way of leading you to one amazing sentence:
They’re going to race corgis at Horsemen’s Park in Omaha.
Short legs. Full hearts. Can’t lose.
Corgi races? We’re in. When is it?
Horsemen’s Park and the Omaha Corgi Crew say they’re “heckin’ happy” to mark International Corgi Day with the 6:30 p.m. post time Saturday, June 5. (#InternationalCorgiDay is actually Friday, June 4, but — everyone — don’t say that too loud around Burpee, Mowgli Longbottom and their friends. Some of their people moms and dads have to work on Friday.)
Admission is free! Bork! There are five heats, so up to 50 corgis will scamper for the squeaky. Entry fees are a Corgi Crew fundraiser for the Town & Country Humane Society, so consider a donation.
The corgis will run rain (Yes! Muddy corgis, please!) or shine (Sigh, we suppose). The Omaha Corgi Crew asks owners to leave any four-legged spectators at home — competitor pups only. The horses you’d wager on at Horsemen’s Park won’t be anywhere near our little floofs, either. That’s an excitable combination.
Corgi racing FAQ
Can I bet on the corgis?
No. Corgi-specific pupper-mutuel betting is not allowed at Horsemen’s Park.
Where will they find the little jockeys?
We know you’re not serious. But Ireland near a pot of gold, maybe?
Is there an age limit?
Yes. Corgis must be 6 months old to race. They say that’s 3.5 people years.
What if the corgis, um, get romantic?
We suspect you have concerns about Big Booty Judy — she’s a good girl! But, just in case, Omaha Corgi Crew asks all owners to have their pets spayed or neutered to avoid “accidental tomfoolery on the racetrack.”
Are there any banned substances?
Actually, yes! Organizers say food, treats, lights and laser pointers are banned. The corgi people-parents can’t throw a toy down the track but they can have one at the finish line.
What if there are bad dogs?
There are no bad dogs! But if a dog that bites a person or fellow competitor, he or she will be disqualified. It might be “kennel up” time for a doggie jail sentence.
How do they keep their furry friends on course?
Well, they do the best they can. Each corgi brings two people — one at the start and one at the finish. The Corgi Crew knows their breed: They tell the finishing person to stay about 4-5 feet beyond the finish line to encourage their pups to run all the way through the tape. Thoroughbred horse owners should still stay out of the path of their stampeding competitors.
Horseman’s Park will be Corgi’s Park for just one night. Follow the squeaks to 6303 Q Street in Omaha.